Hey mamas.
We live in a "yes" culture, where we are expected to say "yes" to almost everything - more work, more responsibilities, play-dates, PTA meetings, the list goes on, and it will continue to go on if you let it.
As busy moms, it's so important for us to say NO and here's why:
- It will free up more time and energy, causing you to feel less stressed.
- You'll start filling your days up with things that actually make you happy, rather than things you feel obligated to do.
- Saying NO puts you in charge of your decisions and your life.
- You can't please everyone - we are already stretched too thin as mamas and we have to accept that we simply cannot please everyone, and we shouldn't have to.
- We need boundaries - once again, we cannot do it all. It's so important to set boundaries and be clear on what we want and don't want, or simply what we don't have time for.
- Saying NO demonstrates that you value yourself. It shows that you respect your time and space. We can't be everywhere and do everything at the same time, so it's important to choose where you want to put your efforts. Otherwise (once again), we will be stretched too thin (as if we aren't already!).
Now I encourage you to re-read the list above...think about each one of those reasons - don't you think all of those lessons are super duper important to teach our children?! Win-win.
"You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside. The enemy of the “best” is often the “good.”
– Stephen Covey
So how do you start? The month of NOvember is the perfect time for you to start saying NO. We are halfway through the month already, so it's time to get rolling.
Here's my challenge for you: I challenge you to say NO once every day through the rest of November. Yes, I said it: EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
It doesn't have to be anything BIG. Start small. Example, "do you want sugar in your coffee?" NO thank you.
It's as simple as that.
Then see if you can move to something bigger... "do you want to meet for drinks after school pick up?"
Answer with: "That's really sweet of you to ask, but we already have plans that day. " - and obviously, if you want to go have drinks, go have drinks! But don't feel obligated to if you're not feeling it.
Does it still feel like this will be too much to ask? You can feel the mom guilt seeping through your pores?
Here are a few simple samples of how you can say NO without the guilt:
Let me think about it first and get back to you.
I bet X would love to help you with this, but I’m not the right person for the task.
I’m already committed to X, so unfortunately I can't make it (or I can't help you with that right now).
Unfortunately, my availability is limited and I will not be able to participate in X. Thank you so much for thinking of me.
And ya know what? It's also okay just to say no, I can't. Without any guilt or judgement. Trust me, this is something I work on daily. Whenever I say no to something I always feel like I have to explain why. So silly, right? I don't expect an explanation from anyone if they say no to me because I'm a busy mom, and I freakin' get it.
Remember, NO is a decision. YES is a responsibility, and who wants more of those?!
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